Anyone who knows me knows that I love me some Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama.
Which is why I’m currently planning to dropkick my budget and splurge on the October issues of Essence and InStyle magazines, both of which feature my cool-aunty-in-my-head as the cover girl. I mean, look at alladis fineness, fabulosity and #BlackGirlMagic! (Shoutout to President O on the Essence cover as well.) It was almost too much for my eyes to behold, all of this #BlackExcellence. Phew!
Queen Michelle has graced quite a few covers over the past eight years, and I own quite a few of those magazines because, duh? And I possibly have hoarder tendencies where magazines and books are concerned. Whatever. The thing is, FLOTUS decided to show all the way o-u-t for these October issue covers and spreads, and I am here for it! I mean, have you ever seen her flaunting her fabulous like this before?
Chile, I wasn’t ready. And the world surely wasn’t ready for this jelly:
I dare you to not see that majestic booty just sitting there, being all majestic. I am burning with intense jealousy right now, because I am one black woman who somehow didn’t inherit the ba-donka-donk gene. The only one in my family – on both sides. I legit turned green with envy after staring at this pic for a good five minutes. Part of my jealousy may also be linked to the fact that this is a gorgeous picture of a beautiful couple still madly in love with each other. The Obamas are #relationshipgoals and I’m #foreveralone and in danger of becoming a crazy cat lady.
My love for FLOTUS Michelle goes deep, y’all. While the rest of the world was busy falling under Barack Obama’s thrall in the lead-up to the 2008 US Presidential election, I was busy falling in love with his wife. I bought her biography by Liza Mundy months before I dropped a coin on Dreams from My Father. Yes, he was going to be the one with The Job of running a country, and he is fine, and gives a speech like no other, but Michelle is the one who became Bae. She’s brilliant, talented and accomplished, not to mention beautiful and stylish and regal. She’s so out of our league it’s ridiculous, yet comes across as approachable and friendly and wonderful. Every time I see a picture of her, I just want to do better with my life. As I said before, she’s my cool aunt in my head, the one I want to be like when I grow up.
I don’t live in America – ain’t never even been there – but I’m gonna miss the heck outta the Obamas when they leave the White House. I don’t even want to process the fact that the Obama administration is in its last lap right now, so these magazine images have me all in my feelings. I’m gonna need a week to just lay on the floor in my darkened room, bawling my eyes out and eating junk food as I mourn their departure. Shoot, I’ll be in mourning from November 7, and I’ll be hysterical and inconsolable on January 20, 2017 when they officially say goodbye. Depending on the outcome of the election on November 8 (PLEASE GOD, #NEVERTRUMP), I might just decide to wear full black like an ancient widow and sit in a corner until the day FLOTUS Michelle heeds our desperate cries to run for POTUS herself. She wants no part of it, but nobody can convince me she wouldn’t be excellent at the job.
FLOTUS Michelle has been a shining example for black girls and women around the world – really, girls and women of any race who are not blinded by hatred and stupidity. She has talked the talk and walked the walk, dedicating herself to improving the lot of children and girls in her own country and all across the globe. She’s also helped raise two brilliant and fabulous daughters, and still found time to do crazy ‘mom dances’ with Jimmy Fallon, push-up contests with Ellen DeGeneres, and rap the lyrics of Get Ur Freak On – with Missy Elliot and James Corden – like a bawse. I see you, Queen!
Since, by law, they must go 😒, I just look forward to following what the First Family gets up to post White House, especially my Queen Michelle. I know that whatever she puts her hand to shall prosper. (Like a 2020 bid for the presidency, right?) #cantletgo